gone

This past week I have felt the gut wrenching pain of losing my hero in life. While it has been hard to see the small joys in daily life, I've been surrounded in so much love that it almost baffles me. The constant text messages, emails, prayers, flowers, letters and so on have been so encouraging.

I guess it does take a tragedy like this for people to step outside of their comfort zones and express their gratitude for you and your family in their life. Although that's not what my grandfather taught me all these 23 years and that's not how I seem to live my life day to day. So maybe I'm odd and completely set apart (well yes we already knew that), but I try my best to tell those that mean so much to me just how appreciated they are. I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I do. Even if it was a random ex or odd friend here and there, the love that I received for my loss has been so genuine.

The one message that stood out the most to me was an old boyfriend who simply wanted to let me know that my family and I were in his thoughts. He said he was worried because he knew that my grandfather meant the world to me. Even though we did date for about 7ish months, it touched me that after a year or 2 apart he still remembered and had it in his heart that this incredible man was something indescribable in my life. The little things like that have kept my hope up in the past few days. I'm so grateful for them and for the people who stepped out of their comfort zones to let me know I'm in their thoughts and prayers.

My grandfather was a special man and these past few days have been far from special, but the abounding adoration my family and I have felt from everyone who knew my grandfather has been truly great.

I miss him. I miss him more than words can express but I've my own personal guardian angel telling me I'm his monkey.